we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
