Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
