Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
