so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
