What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
operation harelip BJ is a go
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
