people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
