I smell stomach acid.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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