For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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