I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
false alarm. still invincible.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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