porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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