Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
