Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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