I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
