at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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