I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
