Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Less talking, more tequila
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
