forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
