is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
