Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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