Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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