Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
