they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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