But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
