Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
