Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
