i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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