She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
