Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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