This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
