i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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