Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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