Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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