Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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