1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
third nipple confirmed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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