I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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