I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize