Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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