what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
