Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
