I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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