She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
