She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
