pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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