Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish I could teleport
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
