no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
