I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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