Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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