Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
