but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
