Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
