but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
